October 2024

 
 

5 Doors is a monthly online magazine/gallery featuring new music, cinema, art, and writing from artist JD RUDOMETKIN and guest artists. It is also a communal space where rituals are curated. This gallery is best experienced on a desktop/laptop computer.

Artists JD Rudometkin (story) and Arressai (soundscape) collaborated to bring attendees an immersive STORY + SOUND EXPERIENCE at the Joshua Tree Music Festival on October 13, 2024. The video below is a teaser that includes the first few moments of the experience.

To find out more about ARRESSAI, visit the artist’s website: https://www.arressai.com/

For booking these artists for a Sound + Story Experience, please contact JD Rudometkin


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September 2024

 
 

5 Doors is a monthly online magazine/gallery featuring new music, cinema, art, and writing from artist JD RUDOMETKIN and guest artists. It is also a communal space where rituals are curated. This gallery is best experienced on a desktop/laptop computer.

ONE

DAY 1

They were brought unto us, cold and frozen, in elegant boxes that their constituents have inlaid with gold and have sheeted in copper—and mounted there upon these copper boxes are fine jewels and precious stones. Stones uprooted from the ancient dialogue and from forgotten festivals of light. And only two of them were sent to us, here at the station. There were a dozen or more they could have brought—for we have moulded many—but brought they unto us just these two. The constituents have clear intentions for their candidates. And we have ours. 

And the attendants laid them there upon the table, side by side. Cold on stainless steel—and cold here is the sweat upon their bodies, without fail. And unto them was given sumac and hyssop and the Lilac of Lincoln and the ground up silver powder from the bullets that struck Martin and John. And also unto them was given the remains of Palestinian scar tissue and jars infused with cinnabar that hold the jellied hearts of they that suffered Auschwitz.

DAYS 2-4

And thus filled were they with the science of antiquity and left here to rest. And here we let them lie untethered—and out of state—and in repose. And saturate. 

DAYS 5 AND 6

And in due time after marination, we drain the poison from their bodies. Leak from them the systematic grip of a millennia born in disabused desire. And this takes time. But our methods are deliberate. For we move without delusion. Without a stamp or pedigree. No one will ever know our name. 

We will begin with these two, the chosen ones from among this nation state of they that do hunger and thirst for sport and personality. We begin with the face of governance, for this is what the people see. The people that long to believe in justice and freedom and goodwill. A people who, at their core walk arm in arm. But they have been marked by colors and teams and wish to win an assumed victory over the opposition’s cause and effect. Upon November’s scale. 

DAYS 7, 8, 9 and 10

Once the bodies have been drained, place we them in a humble space together by the sea. The room is nestled in a forest of thicker trees. Here--retuning to a conscious state--stare they out at the expansive horizon of blue-green water, backed by the endless sky. Redwood and cedar spores infiltrate their lungs and vessels even as their fascia limbers and reattaches itself softly onto bone. Re-wraps itself around each hinge and socket.

Feed we them easy soup of the earth. And their gut does gently mend itself. And the limbs do gather strength. And gradually begin they to take short walks together side by side, then hand in hand—as friends from gentle landscapes and softer tribes have done in ancient times.

And in good time, on this sabbatical, as if deception and dominion were relics they knew not, the candidates begin to speak of what shall be and of the first Tuesday in November when elections are held in certain states of mind.

DAY 11 AND BEYOND

By day 11, both candidates have decided to leave their aggravated teams—scarlet and azure—and will now run together as independents under the pretense, One. You will be able to find them there at the box on the First Tuesday in November, the year of our accord. We have made sure of that. 

Neither candidate cared to be the chosen lead. And they have asked that their names be struck from the ballot. And thus will they appear there, nameless cohabiters of this party—who shall thus lead even as we shall henceforth lead together—For and By the People: One.  

As for the discrepancies in aborted fetuses and the bending of gender mores and the allotment for and the use of armed force as well as the influx of migration into designated territories—not to mention what shall be given unto Caesar—its difficult to say. We’ve seen them meditating on these things in conversation. In quiet conversation have they met to work out their differences in good faith. And what will come from this? This is as yet to be determined here among us. As you and I are us and we. 

What we have observed is their employment of an extensive retinue of artisans and craftspeople to oversee the making of large tents. In addition have they attracted the services of seed harvesters and those that till the earth. Their methods seem severe and arcane to the naked eye. And those of us here within the station are awestruck by the nature of their advance. They are given to less and less language in recent days, as walk they side by side at dawn and in the twilight hours. And we have found that this trend has garnered a quiet applause from among the elders in our group, who seem to welcome the intricacies of silence as they untuck the veil. 


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August 2024

 
 

5 Doors is a monthly online magazine/gallery featuring new music, cinema, art, and writing from artist JD RUDOMETKIN and guest artists. It is also a communal space where rituals are curated. This gallery is best experienced on a desktop/laptop computer.

Written, recorded and produced by JD Rudometkin at Hipbone Studios in Yucca Valley, CA

Vocals: JD Rudometkin
Guitar: JD Rudometkin

LYRIC SHEET

WILD DOG

She is calling out the names 

of deities

In the evening

Bleeding all over me

In the moonlight

I see

Signs and wonders

torn asunder 

In the book of numbers

And sky high

Thighs, like

Flags flying

Red vines

Prophesying  

And I’m trying, Lord

I’m tryin’ to

Pick up the line

In time

To save thy right 

Hand

From the jaw of the lion 

Sea of Glass

Lake of Fire

Desire

But wait I here in

The mezzanine

Where the seen and unseen

Hear howlin dogs

In the distance

Those Signs and wonders

Thunder

Rumbling in 

the canine mind 

With these 

Wild dogs 

And angry gods

Closing in on me 

For in the untrained breast 

And beast

In the heat of these

The daughter’s wound repeats in 

the mind of the mother

Better Run boy  

Run for cover

Here comes the mad dog and the

Mad man’s thunder 

But I can’t hear it

And you can’t hear 

Tho the warning signs are

Crystal clear

The fang of the adder

The poison tear

—Now here it comes

The severance

The searing

As the tooth runs through

Skin and tendon

Blood on the doorpost

Opposable thumbs

Not half the man

I thought I was

Or maybe its just the

Stars above

The Way it is

The Path we’re on

No right—No wrong?

No howling dog?

And I’m bleeding all over 

The room with you, tonite 

My love

Yes I’m bleeding all over 

The room with you

For by the howling dog

The blood is drawn

I can’t move my hand, mama

I can’t move my tongue

I I I I

Hear wild dogs screaming

At the stars above

I taste the iron will

In the daughter’s love

  

In the warning bell

And my raging bull

And the coo of doves

In the cooling gut

While she’s calling out to those stars above 

Strange deities in the evening. 

 


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2022-24 Archives Below

 
 
 

July 2024

 
 

5 Doors is a monthly online magazine/gallery featuring new music, cinema, art, and writing from artist JD RUDOMETKIN and guest artists. It is also a communal space where rituals are curated. This gallery is best experienced on a desktop/laptop computer.

+

ENLIGHTENMENT 2.5

There have been 2.5 occasions where I have sensed what might be called enlightenment. The sum of each experience totals about the same amount of time in seconds. The first occurred when I was living at the edge of China Town in Los Angeles. I had been pursuing the nightmarish dream of becoming an actor. And while acting itself can be fascinating, spending hours if not days working out the character nuances for a mouthwash or whopper ad when one is a Jordorowsky fan, is—to put it mildly, harmful. So, I decided to leave LA. Upon announcing this to my roommates, one of them gave me a book called A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. I began reading the book and it resonated immediately. The ideas therein made absolute sense. While reading the book during my last month as a former chewing gum commercial character actor, I developed a ritual. I would clear the entire room of nearly everything. I even placed the bed up against the wall and draped it with a cloth. Only the book case was visible, sitting there in front of me on the maroon carpet. About a week or so into the book I sat there on the floor reading one morning and as I looked up toward the bookshelf and for reasons I cannot explain my mind went—what might be called—blank, and the absurdity of any existential dread or vain ambitions I had had throughout my life seemed like the perfect punchline for an off colored joke. 

Untitled I, from the ALMOST OBLIVION Collection

I laughed out loud. 

In that moment I felt completely free. 

That moment has stayed with me for nearly 2 decades. But, I almost immediately returned to my part time job as an existential woe and vain ambition prodigy within a day or two. But once a freak moment like that hits, life never completely returns to what it was prior to the event. 

The next moment of brief awareness occurred about 4-5 years after leaving LA, while I was living in Northern California, just outside Sacramento. While there, I used to go to this quiet little sandy beach cove that was cradled at a bend in the American River,  just past a grove of cottonwood trees. One afternoon I was sitting there on the warm sand. I had been taking dips in the cool water from time to time and was journaling off and on while starring at a swirling eddy that curled up  near the shore. It was a private oasis for the most part, other than the occasional group of rafters floating by like errant thoughts. I remember sitting there minding my own business when suddenly out of nowhere an illuminating sensation came over me. This time it was an experience of utter peace and contentment. Time seemed to stand still. Or perhaps it looped back in on itself. Whatever happened, in that moment, I felt a profound sense of freedom. 

Untitled II, from the ALMOST OBLIVION Collection

Its really hard to explain things like this without destroying them. Maybe you’ve had a similar experience and you, more or less, know what I mean. If you haven’t, I hope you drop into one someday (without the drugs).  
My last encounter with enlightenment or whatever occurred just a few days ago in the woods. Lately I have been feeling lost. I have been going through a rough patch in the desert where I now live. Not entirely rough, because I am also pleased to have recently purchased a large plot of land on which I hope to build something beautiful. But thats another story for another time. For now, lets return to the rough patch. An entity from the Felidae family and I were seeing one another for about 5-6 months and the creature and I parted ways.. This severance occurred after the lover’s athletic German Shepherd/Pit bull severed the tendon on my right hand with its long tooth—at the midway point of our courtly endeavor. Doctor Lee aptly reattached my tendon. I’ve had post surgery rehab and all that and my hand still feels nervy and fibrous. 

Untitled III, from the ALMOST OBLIVION Collection

The desert is an amazing place. It attracts all kinds of people. The open spaces are exceptionally liberating. Its a good place to go and look in the mirror. And some of the people who move to the desert, do so to heal broken hearts or old wounds that are still festering. But that is also another story for another time. In short, feeling lost as I have been, I decided to pack my camper and head to the Lost Coast. What could be better? 

Its a long stretch of road between the Lost Coast and Yucca Valley, zig zagging northward. A lot of time to think and not think. Upon arrival. I saw more than enough humans. Some of them had driven their vehicles out onto the beach. So it seemed logical that I should drive mine out onto the sand. This would have been logical if I did not own a 1997 F-150 loaded down with a camper weighing nearly twice the recommended payload.  Needless to say, I became stuck—up to the frame—on the starboard side of my Shadow Cruiser. Thats the name of my camper. La Tortuga is the name of my Ford. Anyhow, feeling more lost than ever on the Lost Coast, I wondered around until I found a group of people who looked like they were the type of folk who know how to put a s’more together and were likely to have wenches on their trucks. Because I drive an old Ford truck with a worn in camper, I thought I might in some way resonate with them. But in fact, I did not. A tall red headed gradeschool teacher from Maryland pulled me out, instead. I thought about leaving the Lost Coast. And I did leave. But on the way out I found a small turnout in the road with an eternal view as the sun was setting. There was just enough room for other people from San Francisco and Bend Oregon—with 100K overland rigs they seldom use—to pass by. Well, I lucked out. This has been a prime spot. And I feel like I am finding some sense of myself out here among these ferns and redwoods and slow moving slugs who are leading daily sessions of yin yoga along the trail. 

Untitled IV, from the ALMOST OBLIVION Collection

A few days ago I was on a longer hike in the woods and I had stopped to rest just off the trail. Earlier that day, I read the strange story Bobok by Dostoevsky. In that story the narrator hears dead people talking to one another while he sits in a cemetery. Russians are a strange breed. They seem to be drawn toward a melancholic root. I should know—I am one. Irish people are strange in different ways. They dig death too. Nothing like a good wake to stir Finnegan.  Along with Fyodor, I have also been reading a book on Celtic Wisdom by John O’Donohue. I remember reading somewhere that O’Donohue died suddenly at age 52, in his sleep. I’m glad he stayed around long enough to give us Anam Cara. Anyway, there I was in the woods with Celtic Wisdom and Russian allegory spinning somewhere in the subterranean mind while starring at a collection of Red Alder and Sugar Pine,  which do not exist in the Mojave Desert. And as I sat there on a dead log, I began to wonder what it would be like to forget the names of things. To see and smell and touch something without a placeholder. Is it possible? And in doing so, how would this effect my mind? And could I reinvent an entire species between my ears that evolves outside science and theology or November elections—or the names for fog and rain? And as I looked out into the woods I could feel my mind slipping into that space of enlightenment I had experienced in LA and at that bend in the American river. But this time, I was consciously leading it there. And because I was leading it there and I knew I was leading it there, this feeling of tender blank slated primetime slipped away after about .5 seconds. Everything slurred. The fabric glitched and tore and was sewn back together just as fast. But rather than feeling disappointed, I felt eager. Eager to know if I could somehow maneuver my destiny into a place where a moment of enlightened freedom could occur almost at will. And if this could happen again and again, could I chain them together in a seamless process of tiny stone buddha dolls?

Untitled V, from the ALMOST OBLIVION Collection

Most teachers have some sort of answer for us. I suppose they feel they must have an answer since we pay good money to buy their books. But I am not your teacher. And I don’t really have an answer for you. And since this is donation based writing via my website, you get to choose how you feel about a person who is only making suggestions. Either way, I’ll take your money if you want to give me some and I will put it to good use building a sacred space on my (eventually our) piece of land. But thats another story for another time.

Here’s the deal: Try it. 

While sitting at your kitchen table, look at the various artifacts in front of you, and deliberately forget their names. Butter becomes mind sludge and so does yellow. It all just falls off the non-plated essence of what would have been a peach in front of you. There is no word for salt now—only that thing there, almost disappearing. Can you do that? Or, when you are out walking your human-hand-biting pit bull, look at your hand as if it were no hand at all. No surgery attached and no history in love making or fist fights. Is it possible? Is it possible to create freedom in silence by peeling back language to some sort of tabula-rasa-nada?

Untitled VI, from the ALMOST OBLIVION Collection

Whoosh. Gone. 

Untitled VII, from the ALMOST OBLIVION Collection

I know its possible because I have been doing it on the Lost Coast for several days. Sitting on a black metal folding chair, staring at what used to be the sun as it appears and disappears in the thicker so called fog where this crushing sound wave hits an unknown presence somewhere far below me over the edge of this…

I would like to hear back from you. Whether you try it or not. I want to know your thoughts or stories about enlightenment or any questions you might have. And if you do give this ritual a whirl, I would love to hear how it is going for you. Or, say after a week or two—or a month’s cycle of nameless episodes—how it went. 

You can reply to these email newsletter/gallery offerings, directly. I’ll answer. 

Good luck. And see you soon.  


If 5Doors enriches your life in some way, please consider supporting it with a donation. Thank you kindly for your patronage, which allows us to continue sharing this work with you.

2022-24 Archives Below

 
 
 

June 2024

 
 

5 Doors is a monthly online magazine/gallery featuring new music, cinema, art, and writing from artist JD RUDOMETKIN and guest artists. It is also a communal space where rituals are curated. This gallery is best experienced on a desktop/laptop computer.

The following is an excerpt from a book (untitled), which is currently being written through JD Rudometkin. The book and accompanying art—also by JDR—will be released in 2025.


If 5Doors enriches your life in some way, please consider supporting it with a donation. Thank you kindly for your patronage, which allows us to continue sharing this work with you.

2022-24 Archives Below

 
 
 

May 2024

 
 

5 Doors is a monthly online magazine/gallery featuring new music, cinema, art, and writing from artist JD RUDOMETKIN and guest artists. It is also a communal space where rituals are curated. This gallery is best experienced on a desktop/laptop computer.

Is there something you wish to burn?

Its Time To Burn the Bones

He tore the bedsheets into smaller pieces.
and burned them one by one.
It took over an hour.
You can’t force these things.
After all is said and done—
Bedsheets hold a lot of weight.
They burn slow and smell like dead skin
and chemicals as they
turn to ash.
And smoke stings the eyes.
But he did not turn away.

And what do you need to burn, friend?
Is there something in your home
That should not be there?

It takes courage to move on.
It takes courage to stay the same.

When you’re ready.
Carry your dry bones out
to a field. Or near the sea.
You know where to take them.

Then, with care
Set the thing on fire and watch it burn.

Capture a little snippet of it disintegrating and send it off to me.
And tell me why you had to let it go.

That’s why I’m here.
To hear you say the things
you didn’t know you knew until
you burnt it down.

Images + editing / lyrics + music by JD Rudometkin


If 5Doors enriches your life in some way, please consider supporting it with a donation. Thank you kindly for your patronage, which allows us to continue sharing this work with you.

2022-24 Archives Below

 
 
 

April 2024

 
 

5 Doors is a monthly online magazine/gallery featuring new music, cinema, art, and writing from artist JD RUDOMETKIN and guest artists. It is also a communal space where rituals are curated. This gallery is best experienced on a desktop/laptop computer.

Springtime in the Mojave is in its prime. The following is a cinematic prose piece about how we learn to see, and what we to decide to pray about.

The Way That Bees Pray for Honey

In the spring, flowers bloom. Sleeping plants and hibernating animals come back to life. But Its not always obvious. Spring can be a quiet season in the desert. Sometimes you have to look close.

Perhaps you have noticed this in yourself. How you have changed in small ways. The way you see beauty now. In simple things. 

The way your mind bends toward the light these days. Because you wanted it to bend that way. You look for color and texture now. You have trained your eye to see. And your sense of smell has returned to you. Or maybe it hasn’t. All I know is what I see. And I have seen you learn to sit with flowers again.

And nowadays you speak less about the neighbor’s foul tongue. And you seem to care less about an idiot president. Or your lot in life. I have been watching you tend your wild garden.

How did you do it? How did you transform your mind like that? Did it come all at once? Or have you been working on this for a long time? 

I wonder if we should pray for things like that. The way that bees pray for honey. The way that ants protect the queen.


If 5Doors enriches your life in some way, please consider supporting it with a donation. Thank you kindly for your patronage, which allows us to continue sharing this work with you.

2022-24 Archives Below

 
 
 

March 2024

 
 

5 Doors is a monthly online magazine/gallery featuring new music, cinema, art, and writing from artist JD RUDOMETKIN and guest artists. It is also a communal space where rituals are curated. This gallery is best experienced on a desktop/laptop computer.

The artist travels south of the United States border and offers the travelogue titled, “BELOW” as a recapitulation of the adventure. This cinematic expression is BEST EXPERIENCED ON A DESKTOP MONITOR.


If 5Doors enriches your life in some way, please consider supporting it with a donation. Thank you kindly for your patronage, which allows us to continue sharing this work with you.

2022-24 Archives Below