5 Doors: October — JD Rudometkin

5 Doors* is a monthly online magazine/gallery featuring new *music, cinema, art, and writing* from artist JD RUDOMETKIN. It is also a communal space where monthly rituals are curated. * This gallery is best experienced on a desktop/laptop computer.

The Believer- oil on canvas 12 x 24" (30.48 x 60.96cm) $700 US + shipping
(c) JD Rudometkin 2021. Contact artist regarding this piece, or for commissioned work.

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MUSIC VIDEO PREMIERE!

Step Jayne is JD Rudometkin's music project. Over the past 5 years, he has released the album SILVER BULLET SUICIDE, one track at a time with an accompanying music video. “Believer” is the 10th and final track from the album. This release is the premiere of both the song and the music video. Now that this album is complete, it is recommended that you watch each track’s music video in succession. A list of tracks from SILVER BULLET SUICIDE can be found within the music portion of this website. Enjoy the pilgrimage (comments and questions are always welcome—see bottom of page for comment section or contact the artist). Wanting to collaborate on a music video idea? Drop us a line here.

THE MIRACLE OF AN UNFXCKED WORLD

Can we start by saying society is fxcked? I read your posts and hear the rants and it seems clear that you believe — society is fxcked. And what is society? Them. Me. You. Us? Yes. So, we are fxcked. Collectively. And yet, we always blame others for society’s ills. And that’s because nobody likes to clean up their own mess. It’s easier to pass the buck. But this is the most immature thing you can do. So, maybe what we really need to do is quietly grow up.

One day there will be a new earth. We all believe that, otherwise we would not say “society is fxcked.” The truth that lies hidden in the phrase “society is fxcked” is the knowledge that one day there will be something beautiful. Some people call it heaven. Others call it utter darkness. And some long for a grand utopia. But here’s the truth: Every time you clean up your own life, you create a new earth. And that’s a beautiful thing.

Let me ask you this: What do you believe in? Perhaps you are able to answer this question with lovely words. And words do count. But your actions are what most clearly speak the truth about what you believe. Line up all the “liberals” and all the “conservatives” and break down all of their actions on a given day. Hour by hour. How different are we really? What did you do today that is so different than what they did?

Mostly, all of us value similar things. The fact that the Oscars exist says a lot about a society. And the fact that professional basketball players and rock stars make exorbitant amounts of money says a lot about what we worship. Call yourself an atheist, fine. But let me walk through your house and hear you speak. Then we can sip tea near the window and discuss your gods, for there are many.

And how about you, friend—you say you have faith in god? Then why do you keep wanting more? If you had any idea what God is, it would be enough.

So please listen theist and atheist alike: Your gods have been handed down to you. And we have all bought into someone else’s beliefs. Very few of us have broken down our values to their core, and accessed them with care. When you do this with complete care, it’s humbling. Seeing oneself clearly will allow you to finally sit still, and perhaps weep. And after that, you stop blaming other people.

The only thing we can do to change the world is to take a very close look at what we think about and what we do. To become good at asking the essential questions:

How am I spending my days?
What is the shape of my God? What do I value?
Where does my mind tend to go? Who taught me how to think?
What does it mean to be in the world but not of it?

Ask questions. Observe carefully. And the key here, is to ask these questions without judgement. Don’t blame your spouse this time. Or your mother. Or yourself. Just observe.

Everybody has been striving for power, fame, wealth and pleasure for as long as we can remember. And we still want more. More clever financial investments and more complicated toys and sex and yoga and world dominance. Keep looking at this very carefully. Why do you want what you want? And the more you look at it the more you will see. And then, at some point it will become perfectly clear:

We are insane.

If you don’t include yourself in this camp of insanity, you are quite simply, spiritually blind and still a child. And its time for us to grow the fxck up.

And we can grow up. People do it all the time. Have you seen this happen: A friend growing up and becoming a whole person right before your eyes? It’s a miracle, really. The fact is, each one of us is a wounded child, wanting to be loved. And to give love. And in doing so, to see the truth and then, to become free. And as we begin to wake up, sanity will return to the earth. The new earth. But please, don’t worry about your neighbor. Or the president. That’s not your job. Clean up your own backyard. That’s your job.

(c) JD Rudometkin 2021

***Listen to and procure*** *the new track from Step Jayne, “Believer” (After clicking play, the song may take A FEW MOMENTS TO LOAD—Thank you for your patience).*

*We change incrementally. Simple rituals, practiced daily, can reprogram our minds. Each month we will practice a new ritual together.*

KEEP A thought JOURNAL

This month we will closely observe our thoughts. Every night before you go to bed, write about what is on your mind. Has something left you feeling wounded in some way? Or perhaps it’s not about human interaction. Whatever it is—just write it out. And if by chance there was some joy or love that drifted into your heart and mind, please write about that too. Just let it rip. Don’t think about it too much.

On the last day of the month, sit down with your journal, and read what you have written over the past 30 days. By doing this, you can become a keen observer. And eventually, you will become your own guide.

The only thing you must do is this:

Be honest.

Don’t fool yourself. You may have done this before, but those days are gone. Besides, that would be a total waste of your precious time.

And btw—buy a journal and a pen that you really like. One that feels good in your hands.

I I I

We can learn to trust ourselves again and adjust our course as needed, by keeping simple, consistent rituals. In former times, we have looked outside ourselves, blamed others, and sought truth, externally. Today, we reclaim our way. We sit in quiet communion and reset our minds.

Why?

To create a sense of stability in what appears to be an unstable world.
To shift thought/behavior patterns.
To enter communion (let's do this ritual together). In communion we find meaning.

* If you wish to share your experience with this ritual for the benefit of our community, please do so at anytime in the comment section at the bottom of this page. You can comment easily and anonymously as a guest.

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