5 Doors* is a monthly online magazine/gallery featuring new music, cinema, art, and writing from artist JD RUDOMETKIN. It is also a communal space where monthly rituals are curated. * This gallery is best experienced on a desktop/laptop computer.
The Impossible Seduction- oil on canvas 24 x 30" (60.96 x 76.2cm) $800 US + shipping
(c) JD Rudometkin 2021. Contact artist regarding this piece, or for commissioned work.
This month Matt Hals hosts Dream Cinema and interviews JD about his short film “The Impossible Seduction." It is highly recommended that you watch the film prior to experiencing the interview. Comments and questions are always welcome—see bottom of page for comment section or contact the artist.
Host Matthew P. Hals interviews JD Rudometkin, below:
Wanting to collaborate on a short film or music video idea? Drop us a line here.
THE CONTROL ROOM
Here you are in this cold room again. And it’s hard to breath. There are worn and cracked leather straps wrapped tight around your wrists. As you sit here in this wooden chair, a shaft of light falls across a leather gag pulled tight around your throat and mouth—and it’s just the way you like it: Predictable.
You are in the control room. And you are the controller. And it’s been that way for a long long time. But it’s getting colder in here now. And my fingers are getting numb. And you think, “My god, is there a way for me to call your name with this gag in my mouth?”
Yes. I heard you. And I see you there upon your solitary throne wanting to dom god. Seducing the seducer.
May I make an observation?
Yes.
Your need for control is killing you. And it’s killing all of those around you too. And if you keep trying to control everything, one day you will be all alone is a small concrete room, with your hands tied and a gag inside your mouth.
Is this what you want?
No.
No, of course not. You want to be free. You want to be able to love and be loved. We all know this. But the illusion of control is so enticing because it feels like it works. I know you have been wounded. And because you’re not stupid, you’re not going to let that happen again. So you seek to control everything and everyone around you so that you will feel safe. And because you are a very smart person, you have outwitted yourself. Perhaps you do not yet realize that you are the one who has tied you up. But when everything in your room gets quiet, you know the truth: “I am alone in this cold room, with straps around my wrist. And a gag in my mouth.”
Yes. And do you want to be free my brother? My sister, are you tired of fooling yourself?
I’ve seen you weeping there—tied up in knots, year after year. And you’re weary of it all now. And it’s getting harder to hold on so tightly. And you know it’s time to face the truth.
So let me sit here with you. I am your witness. All you have to do is let go. Just wink at me, and I will loosen the rope around your wrists. Your hands will fall free and rest by your sides. And then slowly, over time, you will gain strength and courage. And then one day, you will pull the gag from your mouth. And you will speak only what is true. The seduction is already beginning to lose its power. And now you are leaving the cold room of self-deception. You have found a way to love. And to be loved, again.
(c) JD Rudometkin 2021
Listen to and procure the new track from Step Jayne, “An Impossible Seduction” (After clicking play, the song may take A FEW MOMENTS TO LOAD—Thank you for your patience).
Written and Produced by JD Rudometkin
Mixed and Mastered by JD Rudometkin at Hip-Bone Studios
NOTE: This song began as a composition for "A Midsummer Night's Dream" — performed at Falcon's Eye Theater under the Direction of David Harris, with Ian Wallace as Set Designer. The composition was retooled by JD Rudometkin (who was Musical Director for the play) and became a Step Jayne single.
We change incrementally. Simple rituals, practiced daily, can reprogram our minds. Each month we will practice a new ritual together.
SEX TRANSMUTATION
Love dogs can gnaw through hardwood when the bitch is in heat. Sex drive is undeniable—the most powerful, creative force on the planet. It has so much potential. How do you use the potential energy of sex? Do you fantasize? Do you use it as a drug? Maybe you are using it to make love = nice! But now, consider this: Is it possible to transmute this force into our creative work?
Yes.
This month we will transmute sex energy into our creative project. Whatever you are working on (business, art, relationship) use the force of sex to gnaw through the barriers. Here’s what we will do:
Every time a sexual desire or fantasy enters your body or mind, channel it into your creative project. Fantasize about how it will succeed. Be as detailed as you can. You can do this for 5 minutes or 5 seconds: Simply direct sex energy into your project.
Imagine your work going out into the world. Not just for your good, but for the good of all who need it. This is crucial. We are a global village. What we do for ourselves, we do for every living being.
Remember, if you are having a difficult time changing your habits, be gentle with yourself. Take time to gather your strength. Then try again. Its OK if you to have to start over. Just start over.
I I I
We can learn to trust ourselves again and adjust our course as needed, by keeping simple, consistent rituals. In former times, we have looked outside ourselves, blamed others, and sought truth, externally. Today, we reclaim our way. We sit in quiet communion and reset our minds.
Why?
To create a sense of stability in what appears to be an unstable world.
To shift thought/behavior patterns.
To enter communion (let's do this ritual together). In communion we find meaning.
* If you wish to share your experience with this ritual for the benefit of our community, please do so at anytime in the comment section at the bottom of this page. You can comment easily and anonymously as a guest.
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