5 Doors: April

 
5 Doors* is a monthly online gallery featuring new music, cinema, art, and writing from artist JD RUDOMETKIN. It is also a communal space where monthly rituals are curated. If you would like to share thoughts and ideas or ask questions, feel free to…

5 Doors* is a monthly online gallery featuring new music, cinema, art, and writing from artist JD RUDOMETKIN. It is also a communal space where monthly rituals are curated. If you would like to share thoughts and ideas or ask questions, feel free to do so at the bottom of page within the COMMENT field, or directly via CONTACT 5 Doors. * This gallery is best experienced on a desktop/laptop computer.

If 5 Doors enriches your life in any way, please consider supporting it with a donation. I have spent a great deal of time and made many personal sacrifices in the creation of the art that resides within this gallery, which is an ad-free space. Thank you kindly for your patronage, which allows me to continue sharing this work with you.

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the cats of jerusalem

The cats of Jerusalem can be found in the old city and in the new. They wander the streets like ghosts. Who feeds them? Perhaps the orthodox Jews who work only on the Torah. They don’t have day jobs Sunday through Friday. But they get fed. Not cat meat, of course. I did not see anybody fillet a cat in Israel or Palestine. Everyone here seems to agree that cat is an unclean meat—unlike the flanks of meat found in the Muslim quarter of the old city, which are cut and killed Halal by Palestinian men. They divide the flesh into pieces their unorthodox Hebrew brothers and sisters can eat. And some Muslims also eat the Kosher meat that their Jewish brothers cut and bleed out. Of course nobody eats cat, not even the evangelical Christians who dwell therein, as far as I can tell. 

The smell of ceremonially prepared meat fades as you pass through the walls of Old City Jerusalem via the eastern facing Golden Gate.  As we head down into the Kidron Valley, the Mount of Olives appears at the top of a winding ascent. At sunset the calls to prayer begin. At first you hear the Arabic moan and wail peeling out over acres of limestone graves as Jewish descendants hover and bob in recitation above the tombs of their ancestors at dusk, joined thereafter by a cacophony of Christian bells that intensify the dissonance—and the names of God spin out into the night sky as darkness descends. 

Back in the old city the night vigils are underway. In the Church of the Holy Sepulcher, the Slavic women light candles and kneel at the pink granite slab where Christ’s body was lain. Two-thousand years later, and the human flesh still aching for the chosen one. The women sob in reverence and devotion. How can we argue with that? There is a truth here that 1000 vacuum sealed science books cannot contain. It’s not the fault of science, that’s not its job. Perhaps its job is to ask a series of questions: Why does the Ethiopian Jew wail at the wall? Where does the brainwave trough lie within the Dervish whirl? What exactly is it about the ghost body of Christ that moves the Russian women to tears? And why does a relocated secular, progressive American Jew think President Donald Trump was the cat’s meow?

In 2017 I traveled to Israel/Palestine to create a music video for a song I wrote called “Jerusalem.” This land holds the most powerful stories of my youth. And for reasons I can’t fully explain, the sounds, smell and landscape here feel like a lost brother. The food tastes familiar in my mouth. You see, we didn’t have a TV growing up. And we didn’t go to the theater. Rather, we experienced stories from the Hebrew Bible and the Christian New Testament. And even if we write new holy books, the stories of our childhood haunt the bloodstream. These stories, like the city of Jerusalem, are embedded with faith and contradiction. 

At a gallery within the Old City, I met an educated man who told me about the ancient symbols and the profound history of the people he called his own. He spoke about the ubiquitous origins of the Hamsa, a symbolic hand with an eye embedded in the palm. He was considerate in his interpretation of the Kabbalahistic Tree of Life. His wife is an atheist physician. And he is an arbiter of spiritual and cultural knowledge and beauty and seemed to be able to hold many contrary ideas in his mind simultaneously, giving each of them thoughtful consideration. Just before I traveled to Israel and Palestine, the President of the United States had just confirmed Jerusalem as the capital of Israel, and this gentleman called the president a strong leader. He went on to elaborate on the President’s many qualities without offering an alternative viewpoint. Substantial criticism of President Trump was certainly available among various media outlets (At least in the US). So naturally, I was shocked. This American Jewish gentleman’s ability to approach religion and mysticism with broad and just sensibilities did not seem to transfer to a nuanced political perspective. 

Most of us are walking contradictions: Playing the victim while being the perpetrator. Playing the active pacifist. Everything we say is lost in our birth and all the death we may experience along the way:

I’m a Palestinian-Jewish guard. I left my body in the chambers in 1941. My second death began on May 14, 1948 when the Israeli army took my farm. My Jewish daughter was killed in 2004 by a suicide bomb strapped to my eldest son’s body 90 minutes after he said his 2nd prayer after passing through 7 Israeli checkpoints in the back seat of Holy Mary’s American made taxi, driven by our father Abraham. Just last month, my Palestinian grandson was shot at a peaceful protest in Gaza. I watched him bleed back into the ground. We are slowly being eradicated from our home by a series of checkpoints, policies and laws. And all of us Palestinian Jews are losing our religion because it seems as though man shall not live by bread alone. 

On December 25th I ate maqluba with a Palestinian family in Hebron. The father was a tailor and lost function of his hand because an Israeli soldier forced him to remove a Palestinian flag from the electric razor wire. He can no longer work as a tailor. The family is suffering in various ways under the Israeli government, which is gradually extending Jewish Settlements in Hebron as it is throughout Palestine. A two state solution now seems like a radical idea. I was brought into this Muslim home by a Jewish man originally from Cleveland, who now abides in Tel Aviv as an Israeli citizen. He has befriended the family and is trying to help them out as best he can, in what is left of Palestinian Hebron.

There are hundreds of stories that fill the Holy Land. Stories about history and who has a right to live where. Stories of Israelis who have died at the hand of Palestinian suicide bombers. Stories of Palestinians in Gaza who have no clean water to give their children. These stories are spun and re-spun by the time they reach the world’s consciousness and particularly the American mind. Just try to do a fair Google search. 

Here’s some news: 

According to USAID Data Services as of March 2020, in constant 2018 U.S. dollars (inflation-adjusted), total U.S. aid to Israel obligated from 1946-2018 is $236 billion.

Thats billion—with a B, and counting. Are you curious about how your money is spent? Where do you get your news? 

A few years back I was finger picking a D minor chord over and over in the studio late at night. And for some reason the word Jerusalem suddenly left my mouth. Over and over. And over time a song was born. Since then a curiosity about the city grew into an exploration of the region and a desire to know more. Through the years I have been blessed by the friendship and mentorship of many Jewish and Arab Americans. These cultures have influenced me in important ways and continue to have an impact in my life. And yes, I am continually astonished by the nuanced and often contrary ideas that reside inside each of us, simultaneously.

For instance, near the end of my pilgrimage, I met a friendly Jewish Florist just outside the Wailing Wall who told me: “Its OK if other people live in the land that God gave my people, as long as they are nice.”  What a strange god. The florist used to live in California. I wonder which god gave him Carlsbad when he lived there. And earlier in my journey, I also met a couple of friendly Palestinian young men who were selling t-shirts and toy guns, and referred to their Hebrew brothers as "dog meat.” I wonder if these young men pray 5 times a day? Sadly, I never did strike up a conversation with any of the stray cats who quietly wander through Jerusalem’s mosques and synagogues. 

There are many reasons to travel beyond our borders. Beyond the stories and news sources we commonly tread. And as we move about on foreign soil, perhaps we will discover our self in the other. And suddenly, you are no longer who you were. You have found a mirror in the temple. And she smells a lot like you. I initially went to Jerusalem to play the role of a long haired apostle for a group of kids who still live inside the wall, and whisper the old stories in my ear. We sometimes argue and fight in this theatre of the absurd, trying to makes sense of a golden rule (*).

(*) “The Theatre of the Absurd attacks the comfortable certainties of religious or political orthodoxy. It aims to shock its audience out of complacency, to bring it face to face with the harsh facts of the human situation as these writers see it. But the challenge behind this message is anything but one of despair. It is a challenge to accept the human condition as it is, in all its mystery and absurdity, and to bear it with dignity, nobly, responsibly; precisely because there are no easy solutions to the mysteries of existence… The shedding of easy solutions, of comforting illusions, may be painful, but it leaves behind it a sense of freedom and relief.” - Absurd Drama, Martin Esslin


(c) JD Rudometkin 2021

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In order to fully experience the conversation above, you are encouraged to watch the video “Jerusalem” at the bottom of this category.

Step Jayne is JD Rudometkin's music project. Over the past 5 years, he has released the album SILVER BULLET SUICIDE, one track at a time with an accompanying video. For the first 10 months of 2021, each track and relevant (and at times irrelevant) thematic content will be explored in interviews with various co-hosts including: Psychiatrists, Artists/Musicians, Professors, the Salt of the Earth, and Art Curators.

In this issue, yoga teacher and humanitarian James Marks  and JD discuss personal experiences within Israel and Palestine and the album's fourth track, "Jerusalem." We recommend watching this music video (BELOW) in preparation for the conversation (ABOVE). It is also recommended that you do your own research on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. Here are a few links that may stimulate your own research into the region:

An Introduction: History of the Jews

Abbreviated history Israel-Palestine Conflict: A Brief History

News Source Middle East Monitor

Palestinians and Israelis in Conversation: Can Israelis and Palestinians See Eye to Eye?

Activist Abby Martin: Abby’s Martin’s Views on Israel Watch the Movie: Gaza Fights for Freedom

Author/Neuroscientist Sam Harris: Why I Don’t Criticize Israel

United States Funding Israel since 1948: $236 Billion Congressional Research Service

Suffering in Gaza: Food Insecurity in the Occupied Palestinian Territory

“As someone who believes absolutely and unequivocally in Israel’s right to exist in peace and security, who as a young man lived in Israel for a number of months, as someone who is deeply concerned about the global rise of antisemitism, we must say loudly and clearly that to oppose the reactionary policies of Prime Minister Netanyahu does not make anyone anti-Israel.” - Bernie Sanders, US Senator

A GIFT TO YOU: Listen to and procure a FREE download of the new ambient track from Step Jayne, “Last Sentinel Departs for the New Jerusalem”  (After clicking play, the song may take A FEW MOMENTS TO LOAD—Thank you for your patience).

A GIFT TO YOU: Listen to and procure a FREE download of the new ambient track from Step Jayne, “Last Sentinel Departs for the New Jerusalem” (After clicking play, the song may take A FEW MOMENTS TO LOAD—Thank you for your patience).

The Last Sentinel Departs for the New Jerusalem by Step Jayne, released 01 April 2021 1. The Last Sentinel Departs for the New Jerusalem "The Last Sentinel Departs for the New Jerusalem" is a gift to you. Composition: JD Rudometkin Produced by JD Rudometkin Mix and Mastering: JD Rudometkin Poetry in English and Arabic by the sufi master, Hafiz.

This track is a gift to you. It is paired with this months painting, which is also titled: The Last Sentinel Departs for the New Jerusalem. Consider listening to the track first, and then absorb the painting. Finally, combine the two for a full experience.

Composition: JD Rudometkin
Produced by JD Rudometkin
Mix and Mastering: JD Rudometkin
Poetry in English and Arabic by the sufi master, Hafiz. Readings taken from The Book of Psalms. Calls to prayer in both Arabic and Hebrew recorded in Jerusalem.

Art graphic 5 Doors.png

The Last Sentinel - oil on canvass 30"x48" (76.2 x 121.92cm) $900 US + shipping (c) JD Rudometkin 2021. Contact artist regarding this piece, or for commissioned artwork.

Contact / Purchase

We change incrementally. Simple rituals, practiced daily, can reprogram our minds. Each month we will practice a new ritual together.

We change incrementally. Simple rituals, practiced daily, can reprogram our minds. Each month we will practice a new ritual together.

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eat slowly

We consume food in order to live. This is a basic function of animal life. And yet, eating can take on the quality of artful activities like sitting quietly with a painting, inhaling the desert rose or making love. Have you ever contemplated the beauty of a papaya, or the rather common fuji apple? Notice the color and texture of the fruit. The way it feels in your hands, and the sound it makes when the knife separates it into halves. How does it feel resting inside your mouth?  Have you considered all the necessary people and events surrounding the way this slice of papaya found its way into your home? In much of the world, the pace of life seems to offer us less time to contemplate such things. Our friends might even consider us a bit odd for doing so. And the same friends might applaud us for laboring 60 hours a week and getting a raise at work. It may be worth asking, “Who’s the odd one here anyhow?”

For the April ritual, we are going to sit quietly with our first piece of food for the day. Set the phone in the other room. Turn down the noise, and create a few minutes to really appreciate what you are doing. Eat the piece of food slowly; be it an apple, an egg or slice of yesterday’s quiche. Our body will thank us for this gentle care. And as a result of taking time with our first meal, we may also begin to naturally contemplate how and why we consume any number of other things in a given day.

I I I

We can learn to trust ourselves again and adjust our course as needed, by keeping simple, consistent rituals. In former times, we have looked outside ourselves, blamed others, and sought truth, externally. Today, we reclaim our way. We sit in quiet communion and reset our minds.

Why?

  • To create a sense of stability in what appears to be an unstable world.

  • To shift thought/behavior patterns.

  • To enter communion (let's do this ritual together). In communion we find meaning.

    * If you wish to share your experience with this ritual for the benefit of our community, please do so at anytime in the comment section at the bottom of this page.


If you appreciate 5 Doors, please consider donating. And you are encouraged to share this gallery with a friend. Thank you kindly.


ARCHIVE

 

5 Doors: March

 
5 Doors* is a monthly online gallery featuring new music, cinema, art, and writing from artist JD RUDOMETKIN. It is also a communal space where monthly rituals are curated. If you would like to share thoughts and ideas or ask questions, feel free to…

5 Doors* is a monthly online gallery featuring new music, cinema, art, and writing from artist JD RUDOMETKIN. It is also a communal space where monthly rituals are curated. If you would like to share thoughts and ideas or ask questions, feel free to do so at the bottom of page within the COMMENT field, or directly via CONTACT 5 Doors. * This gallery is best experienced on a desktop/laptop computer.

Listen to and support/purchase the new single from Step Jayne, “THE BEAST LAID DOWN”  (After clicking play, the song may take A FEW MOMENTS TO LOAD—Thank you for your patience).

Listen to and support/purchase the new single from Step Jayne, “THE BEAST LAID DOWN” (After clicking play, the song may take A FEW MOMENTS TO LOAD—Thank you for your patience).

released March 1, 2021 Lyrics and Music Composition: JD Rudometkin Produced by JD Rudometkin Mix and Mastering: JD Rudometkin Lead Vocals, Instrumentation: JD Rudometkin Back up Choir: Tim Chinnock

Lyrics and Music Composition: JD Rudometkin
Produced by JD Rudometkin
Mix and Mastering: JD Rudometkin
Lead Vocals, Instrumentation: JD Rudometkin
Back up choir: Tim Chinnock
Cover Photo:
Mikial Tolmosoff

THE BEAST LAID DOWN Lyrics

At the crossroad
With your hand in mine
The forbidden fruit
We crossed the line

And the blackbird flew
The serpent grew
And I closed my eyes
I closed my eyes

And when you whisper my name
I do not choose
My flower blooms
My flower blooms

And the wind did howl
The world shook
And the earth was soft
Where my body took you

And the animal crosses
The animal cried
And the beast laid down
Beside me.

And we let you crack
We saw you spin
And I heard you whisper
And I let you in

And you rent the veil
Your fingernails
In the flashing lights
And the neon signs

And the animal crosses
The animal cried
And the beast laid down
The beast laid down

And the blackbird flew
The serpent grew
And I closed my eyes
I closed my eyes

And when you whisper my name
I do not choose
My flower blooms
My flower blooms

Art graphic 5 Doors.png

SOLD corridor /ˈkôrəˌdôr/ oil on canvass 48"x30" (121.92 x 76.2cm) $2100 US + shipping
(c) JD Rudometkin 2021. Contact artist regarding this piece, or for commissioned artwork.

We change incrementally. Simple rituals, practiced daily, can reprogram our minds. Each month we will practice a new ritual together.

We change incrementally. Simple rituals, practiced daily, can reprogram our minds. Each month we will practice a new ritual together.

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See the child

There is a longing in the heart to be known. To be heard and understood. We are often not given the chance to speak. Or, perhaps we have not been asked a question, and then been granted the necessary time and space to respond. But its not too late. It is possible to reconnect with the child and listen with care and quiet attention.

THE RITUAL: (*)

 1. Each morning during the month of March, set up two chairs facing each other in a quiet place. Sit down in one of the chairs, and close your eyes. Now see yourself as a small child of perhaps 4 or 5 years of age, seated in the other chair, facing you.

 2. Gently and with all kindness audibly or silently ask the child,

“Is there something you would like to tell me?”

3. And now wait quietly. Observe with care. And listen to what the child says. You may get a response the first day, or the first week. And you may not get a response until the end of the month. But sooner or later, the child will speak. Be patient. Just listen. That’s all you need to do.

We can learn to trust ourselves again and adjust our course as needed, by keeping simple, consistent rituals. In former times, we have looked outside ourselves, blamed others, and sought truth, externally. Today, we reclaim our way. We sit in quiet communion and reset our minds.

Why?

  • To create a sense of stability in what appears to be an unstable world.

  • To shift thought/behavior patterns.

  • To enter communion (let's do this ritual together). In communion we find meaning.

    * If you wish to share your experience with this ritual for the benefit of our community, please do so at anytime in the comment section at the bottom of this page.

Cinema Graphic 5 Doors 2021.png

In order to fully experience the conversation below, you are encouraged to watch the video “Black Dove” at the bottom of this category.

Step Jayne is JD Rudometkin's music project. Over the past 5 years, he has released the album SILVER BULLET SUICIDE, one track at a time with an accompanying video. For the first 10 months of 2021, each track and relevant (and at times irrelevant) thematic content will be explored in interviews with various co-hosts including: Psychiatrists, Artists/Musicians, Professors, the Salt of the Earth, and Art Curators.

In this issue, musician and videographer DEVON WHITAKER  and JD discuss the album's third track, "Black Dove." We recommend watching this music video (BELOW) in preparation for the conversation (ABOVE). To discover more about Devon Whitaker, visit: www.instagram.com/boyindigo.music

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RAG OF SNOW

 When you walk out into the wilderness alone it is because you have been called here. In this place of openness and solitude the body begins to unwind. You have been bound up in knots and twisted plots, arguing with yourself and others about righteous and unrighteous acts of violence. That’s OK. There is a season for sowing seeds of dissent. But now it’s time to let that go.

 Come out into the wilderness. Let us sit face to face in the morning sun. Take my hands here and I will take your hands in mine as we look upon one another with gentleness and concern. There is no rigor here. There is no war. No peace to fight for—no plot.

There is no cross or crossroad. And no burden to bare.

See the child.
Rag of snow. Blood stain.
Wash cloth.

There is a time to learn how to love again. This is that time.

And when that demon called Rage comes back around in one of its many guises
Do not be fooled.
Know that you are not alone.
I am with you,
Be not afraid.

 Take 40 days. Set aside 4 minutes of your precious time. It may be that you and I will spend 40 years wandering in the arid wilderness: And then we will know a depth in the reservoir of forgiveness. Do this for yourself. For your children’s children. Do this for the stranger, wandering within your gates.


(c) JD Rudometkin 2021


If you appreciate 5 Doors, please consider sharing this gallery with a friend. Thank you kindly.


ARCHIVE

 

5 Doors: February

 
5 Doors* is a monthly online gallery featuring new music, cinema, art, and writing from artist JD RUDOMETKIN. It is also a communal space where monthly rituals are curated. If you would like to share thoughts and ideas or ask questions, feel free to…

5 Doors* is a monthly online gallery featuring new music, cinema, art, and writing from artist JD RUDOMETKIN. It is also a communal space where monthly rituals are curated. If you would like to share thoughts and ideas or ask questions, feel free to do so at the bottom of page within the COMMENT field, or directly via CONTACT 5 Doors. * This gallery is best experienced on a desktop/laptop computer.

Listen to and procure the new single from Step Jayne, “CUT LIKE DIAMONDS”  (The song may take A FEW MOMENTS TO LOAD—Thank you for your patience).

Listen to and procure the new single from Step Jayne, “CUT LIKE DIAMONDS” (The song may take A FEW MOMENTS TO LOAD—Thank you for your patience).

CUT LIKE DIAMONDS Hear you whisper in the darkness Could you call out my name No one else here as the answer or the key For wheels in wheels that cut like diamonds And I am down on bended knee Waiting on and answer from the queen And even in

Lyrics and Music Composition: JD Rudometkin
Produced by Pat Kearns and JD Rudometkin
Mix and Mastering: Pat Kearns, Goat Mountain Recordings Landers, CA
Lead Vocals, Acoustic Guitar, Rhodes Keys: JD Rudometkin
Back up Vocals: Valcine Brown, Rosa Pullman
Electric Guitar and Slide Guitar: Pat Kearns
Pedal Steel: Luke Dawson

CUT LIKE DIAMONDS Lyrics

Hear you whisper in the darkness
Could you call out my name
No one else here as the answer or the key
For wheels in wheels that cut like diamonds
And I am down on bended knee
Waiting on and answer from the queen

And even in the deepest sorrow
Holy water, sinking stones
Lead me down to the bottom of the well
Frozen stiff, hallow darkness
Hello fever, my old friend
Hold my hand until it passes
And the angels let me in

And when they pin you up on crosses
With these lines upon your face
That prove amazing grace is right on time
Well pierce my side but let my knife
Lie here quiet in the night
As we look out over Jordan, deep and wide

And then maybe brother we
Can once again believe
Leave our weapons on the mat
And cross the river
And Love if you come again
Please forgive us of our sins
We’re just trying to make some sense
Of these conditions

Art graphic 5 Doors.png

seraphim\ ˈser-​ə-​ˌfim , -​ˌfēm \- oil on canvass 30"x48" (76.2 x 121.92cm) $2200 US + shipping (c) JD Rudometkin 2021. Contact artist regarding this piece, or for commissioned artwork.

Contact / Purchase

We change incrementally. Simple rituals, practiced daily, can reprogram our minds. Each month we will practice a new ritual together.

We change incrementally. Simple rituals, practiced daily, can reprogram our minds. Each month we will practice a new ritual together.

I love you.

I trust you.

Abide with me.

For February, we are offered this guided meditation. Use it everyday or as often as you see fit. The intention is to draw us into a more intimate relationship with our body. To learn its language and begin to move in harmony with its deeper wisdom. We often live in our minds in a way that is separate from the body. We may be missing out on an essential experience of life when we are disconnected in this way.

We can learn to trust ourselves again and adjust our course as needed, by keeping simple, consistent rituals. In former times, we have looked outside ourselves, blamed others, and sought truth, externally. Today, we reclaim our way. We sit in quiet communion and reset our minds.

Why?

  • To create a sense of stability in what appears to be an unstable world.

  • To shift thought/behavior patterns.

  • To enter communion (let's do this ritual together). In communion we find meaning.

Cinema Graphic 5 Doors 2021.png

In order to fully experience the conversation below, you are encouraged to watch the video “All The Women In Every Room” at the bottom of this category.

Step Jayne is JD Rudometkin's musical project. Over the past 5 years, he has released the album SILVER BULLET SUICIDE, one track at a time with an accompanying video. For the first 10 months of 2021, each track and its thematic content will be explored in interviews with various co-hosts including: Psychiatrists, Artists/Musicians, Professors, the Salt of the Earth, and Art Curators.

In this issue, activation and ascension guide KATHERINE WEHLER  and JD discuss the album's second track, "All The Women In Every Room." We recommend watching this music video (BELOW) in preparation for the conversation (ABOVE). (To discover more about Katherine Wehler, visit: www.katherinewehler.com).

A short story, for February.

A short story, for February.

WOMAN IN THE SARPA KAVU

 When I was in India I saw the wild eyed ascetics out in the kavu. They ate very little each day, perhaps a few grains of rice. These silent women and men sit for days on end, purifying their minds. They do not evangelize, or try and convince me to join their cult. Because there was no cult. They more or less found one another out there in the forest, and seem to hover together like wild animals. Animals who had left the cycle of heat, which is often generated by the herd.

 The methods of these ascetics are peculiar to a Jew, but not totally foreign. When I was a boy wandering in the the mountains near the Dead Sea, I met an old Bedouin woman who was living in a cave. She shared some of her flat bread and goats milk with me. And she had the same distant fire in her eye that the ascetics have. It seems to burn like a candle from the recesses of the head.

 On one particular day when I was out in the kavu, I came upon an ascetic woman who was naked and sitting under a tree. Her hair was matted and she was covered in mud. There were several butterflies hovering around her head and a rare albino krait was wrapped around her right forearm and curled into the hand. There was a smell of death in the air, which seemed to be emanating from her body. The woman was so thin I could see her ribs, and she appeared to be gazing off into the distance, undisturbed by my presence as I approached. I stopped about 20 paces from her, and stood there staring at her strange form. And then I closed my eyes. The sun faded and I began to feel light as air. I seemed to be drifting away from my body. Then, in the distance I heard the flapping of wings. The sound of these wings grew louder and louder, and as I slowly opened my eyes, I saw that the woman was now seated in front of me, staring straight through and into the back of my mind. There was a feeling beyond peace or joy that filled my body. The flower opened and now it smelled of lilac. Her ribs moved as she inhaled and I watched as the snake wound in endless circles around her arm. Then she slowly rolled her forearms over and exposed the palms of her hand. And that’s when I saw the scars. And I saw my life there in the lines of her palm, surrounding and cutting through the scars. I saw my mother Mary’s burial dress and the beasts of Revelation. I felt the heavy cross upon my shoulder and 10 million believers who would take my name in vain. And in her palm I feel the pure hearts of those men you will never hear of, lying in unmarked graves as I watch myself walk on water for the very last time.

 They do not teach us things like this in school. This kind of song is sung by the birds we hear but cannot see. Knowing this, we wade out into the Ganges further still, and it becomes the Jordan River. And if you no longer concern yourself with the distant shore, you will know what you are to do with the remainder of your days.

(c) JD Rudometkin 2021


ARCHIVE

 

5 Doors: January

 
 
 
5 Doors is a monthly online gallery space featuring new music, cinema, art, and writing from artist JD RUDOMETKIN. It is also a communal space where monthly rituals are curated (NOTE: Share ideas or ask questions at bottom of page by clicking COMMEN…

5 Doors is a monthly online gallery space featuring new music, cinema, art, and writing from artist JD RUDOMETKIN. It is also a communal space where monthly rituals are curated (NOTE: Share ideas or ask questions at bottom of page by clicking COMMENT).

 
 
We change incrementally. Simple rituals, practiced daily, can reprogram our minds. Each month we will practice a new ritual together. You are invited to perform this ritual each day or as often as you would like.

We change incrementally. Simple rituals, practiced daily, can reprogram our minds. Each month we will practice a new ritual together. You are invited to perform this ritual each day or as often as you would like.

 
 
 
 

"What do you want? Really."

We can learn to trust ourselves again and adjust our course as needed, by keeping simple, consistent rituals. In former times, we have looked outside ourselves, blamed others, and sought truth, externally. Today, we reclaim our way. We sit in quiet communion and reset our minds.

  1. When you wake up, go to the bathroom sink and splash water on your face. Look at the mirror, and into your eyes. Hold the gaze. Connect.

  2. Ask audibly: “What do you want?" Hold the gaze as long as you need to do so. Then say, "Really." Connect once again. Then trust that the part of you that knows — got the message. Your mind & body intelligence is giving you the answer. Let all else go.

  3. Go to a quiet place. Take a few deep breaths. Then sit quietly for 1 minute. Silence the mind. Turn off thinking. Connect.

Why?

  • To create a sense of stability in what appears to be an unstable world.

  • To shift thought/behavior patterns.

  • To enter communion (let's do this ritual together). In communion we find meaning.

Art graphic 5 Doors.png

WOMB - oil on canvass 36" x 48" (91.44 x 121.92cm) $2150 US + shipping (c) JD Rudometkin 2021. Contact artist regarding this piece, or for commissioned artwork. Contact Artist / Purchase

Listen to the new single from Step Jayne, “Whisky Dance.”  (The song may take a few moments to load—Thank you for your patience).

Listen to the new single from Step Jayne, “Whisky Dance.” (The song may take a few moments to load—Thank you for your patience).

 
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Step Jayne is JD Rudometkin's musical project. Over the past 5 years, he has released the album SILVER BULLET SUICIDE, one track at a time with an accompanying video. For the next 10 months in Dream Cinema, each track and its thematic content will be explored in interviews with various co-hosts including: Psychiatrists, Artists/Musicians, Professors, the Salt of the Earth, and Art Curators.

In this issue, Psychiatrist and author Dr. Darin Gould and JD discuss the album's first track, "Psalm Zero." We recommend watching the "Psalm Zero" music video (BELOW) in preparation for the conversation.

This month, a short story.

This month, a short story.

A CONTACT HIGH

She said come into my presence and sit with me. Her eyes were golden, and her space was dark and cloudy. There were bodies strewn around the room like broken hearts. Wilting. I knew nothing of her motivations, yet I entered.

Is there a part of you that knows how to bend the rules? The rules will change in 100 years. 500. 10,000 years. 10 seconds. Don’t think of the word god as God. Study your idols, then write your holy book.

So I sat down on the pillows in front of her, and closed my eyes without her asking. “Where are you from?” She asked. When I didn’t answer, she responded to my silence with a shallow drone. “How about you?” I asked. Then I could sense an answer from inside me. She was from this room. This is where she had always been, killing the dead with her presence. Bodies piling up into dust and regeneration. I wish I could think of a better word. What can be used for regeneration?

I sat with her for an hour. Perhaps it was a year. Then it occurred to me that when this life is over, I don’t want to go anywhere else. This precious life. Its enough. And when that thought filled my body, I left it. And I ascended up from the room and out over the tops of these stone towers—the calls to prayer fading in the distance—and I kept rising higher and higher until the moon became her and we sat there together again, on the dark side of a new earth.

(c) 2021 JD Rudometkin


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